ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
