I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fuck appropriateness.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
