One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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