After last night, I could never be a politician.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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