the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
