i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
