He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We named our party play list daddy issues
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
