my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
