found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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