I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
