we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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