i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
