She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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