absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
