i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
