maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
