Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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