Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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