Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
