He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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