wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
