So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he shaved USA in his pubs
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
