Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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