think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
