sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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