i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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