her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
