i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
