Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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