she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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