Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
