I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
