Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
