white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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