i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
