She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
