she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
