Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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