Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
