Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
