So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Please don't give away my fajitas
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
