Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
