I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
