Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
