"it" just moved
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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