I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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