margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My ass is underappreciated
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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