Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
