Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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