Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We have so much sex to catch up on
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
