On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
