He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
