I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
