The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
